real desire

by thankfeldenkrais

Four weeks post Isaac’s latest Botox,
We see the best results to date after injection.

There is a softness to his movement,
When walking assisted,
The tightness is gone,
The habit of pulling himself downwards with tense efforting absent,
And it seems the body’s sense of calm has returned.

Some clear goals present,
With this current nervous system;
To weight-bear through the arms in an array of positions using Isaac’s body weight,
With the aim to move away from arm-gutters on his walker,
To a taller straight arm stride.

Sit-to-stand with focus on coming forward,
Long tall tummy,
Anterior pelvic tilt,
To help him in the all important sitting,
And also the vital action of transitioning from sitting to standing,
Without thrusting backwards as has become so familiar to him.


And standing tall through a raised bottom,
Which is fundamentally the true action for coming into straight leg standing,
And how getting a flat foot to connect with the floor possible.


And to find dorsi-flexion in the feet,
Which remains very foreign to Isaac,
So we start exploring new way to achieve it,
And one being placing a tennis ball under the ball of his foot,
And rolling the ball around in all direction,
To move in and out of this unfamiliar position,
All the while giving invaluable sensory feedback through the sole of the foot.

With the true benefits of his hard work evident,
Through this soft sense of self,
And the way Botox has further allowed him full foot contact to the floor,
I’m sparked with great excitement,
As not only are we seeing an ideal muscle-skeletal alignment,
We are also witnessing the first real desire from Isaac,
To be up on his feet.

Responding to the idea that they may still,
Become part of his body image.

Yes we are a long way off,
But we don’t miss a beat,
Installing ballet bars throughout the house,
To create an even more supportive environment,
To help capitalise on this phase.

And the reply is pure joy,
And determination.


And while like everything CP,
This may or may not last,
As history has shown us,
Nothing is guaranteed,
And yet in moments like these,
I cannot help but swell with optimism,
And grab hold with both hands to the possibility that,
He’s going to do it.

Defy the odds.

And well frankly,
In my eyes he already has.

But we will continue to reach for the stars beyond.