open up the conversation to better function

by thankfeldenkrais

As I force myself to climb out of the hole of disappointment,
I had fallen into,
After Isaac’s surgery,
I do have the chance to open my eyes once more to all that is wonderful,
In his movement,
In his development,
And undoubtedly in his attitude.

One reason behind his impressive ability,
To limit any sense of defeat,
We speculate,
Is down to his fantastic spatial awareness.

Isaac can influence his world,
In such a way,
He can control a lot of his frustration.

Not all of it,
Of course,
But to a large degree he can,
By understanding where he is in space in relation to that around him,
Understanding how to move or orient himself to his ability,
And advantage.

And this has been developed,
Through his therapy,
Through his curiosity being spiked continuously,
And being given the options and the chance,
To explore.

We have taught him how to move.

But he has worked out for himself,
How to make what he’s got available,
Work for him,
Without trepidation.

As I now see though,
Perhaps more than ever,
His (our/mine) trajectory isn’t straight.

And never will be.

We battle against interruptions to his nervous system,
As we’ve recently seen,
But also,
And as a constant,
We battle against time.

Against his growth to skill acquisition.

Looking over footage from when Isaac was two,
In standing there was no leg sag,
His trunk was tall,
His legs stood strong and straight,
But he was much smaller,
He hadn’t had a growth spurt in height,
That saw his bones overtake his muscles,
And there wasn’t so much activation of the fear mechanisms,
Because he was so much closer to the ground,
And more simply,
Like other two year old’s,
Fearlessness seemed to be inherent.

And so naturally,
It is easy to become overwhelmed by a sense of doom,
The feeling of the battles never ending,
Being simply too great to contemplate,
And yet our practitioner eases the woes,
By reminding me of all the things we can still very successfully fill-in for Isaac,
And work on with great promise,
As we help him put his puzzle pieces together.

And she further points out,
While Isaac stood tall at two,
He had no sideways movement,
He was missing many more elements than that which he has acquired since,
And his growth is inevitable,
Desired of course,
And while physically we face the vicious cycle of awkward limbs,
And muscles not keeping up,
His cognitive development as he ages,
Is what will improve all other factors,
Because he can become more aware,
He can begin to modulate his responses in movement,
With an understanding,
Of what it is we are asking him to do.

And we can get the feedback from him,
As to how something feels,
What was easier,
Why something felt so hard,
And open up the conversation to better function.

With him,
For him.


And for right now,
Be grateful for his attitude,
His sense of where he is in space,
His connection to others and the environment around him,
The strength he already owns,
And go forth knowing,
That those pathways to more,
No matter how many twists and turns,
Are getting stronger every day.