otherwise available

by thankfeldenkrais

With Isaac doing more and more standing,
And side walking,
It’s hard not to get excited about the prospect of him taking off,
And striding into the sunshine.

And at age three,
Harder still,
Not to feel the sting,
Of all the other three year old’s skipping in the grass.

So with anticipation and fear tucked in my pocket,
We begin the lengthy process of walker trials,
In hope of catching his peers,
And minimising the blow that is life with cerebral palsy,
Silently begging for him to be ready,
Because I am.

(Still chasing the unattainable dream)

And Isaac,
Being Isaac,
Takes it on in good humour,
Obliges our demands,
Copping the fatigue,
And smiling for the camera.

And I feel that buzz of optimism,
Excitement on a tight leash,
Not quite willing to give into it,
But also unable to douse the fire of this could be it,
He’ll get his walker,

And walk away from his disability.

And with the Cerebral Palsy organisation encouraging us,
Outlining the benefits of being upright more,
Being at his peer level,
At the age appropriateness of a walker,
It’s hard not to be drawn to the light.

Back in the context of Feldenkrais,
Under skillfully trained eyes,
While not doubting Isaac’s good attempt at walking,
Attempt is the operative word.
For it’s not walking,
But rather upright motion masquerading as walking.

As he reverts to extension,
Throwing backwards with legs too far out in front of him.
Not putting weight through his legs,
Losing the relationship to his pelvis and hips,
In turn losing the relationship to his arms and hands.
And is currently too much demand on his system.

The outcome,
Made apparent from this exploration,
Is too much too soon.
Creating too much demand,
Is not advantageous,
Is counter productive –
And we need to slow everything right back down.
Take our time.

Isaac has time,
I need to give him that time.

He needs to keep learning flexion,
And independent pelvis mobility,
In order to allow the relationship of straightening up to walking to be effective –
For it to translate into being in an upright position.

When Isaac is lying on his back,
With hips curled,
He has no problem straightening his legs,
And flattening his foot –
So he needs to be able to maintain flexion in his upper body in standing,
Before walking will be effective,
And to stop the reverting to patterns of extension,
Which we now know,
After seeing him in the walkers,
Blocks out many otherwise available components to Isaac’s organisation.


And as cute as he looks,
And as wishful as I am,
I know our practitioner is right,
And I trust,
That while he’s not ready yet,
His walker time will come.
While maintaining,
And utilising all his available elements.

The End of Chapter Ten