there is no stopping
Self pity an indulgence for the small hours of night,
While he sleeps.
Action my greatest lifeline,
While he wakes.
There is no stopping.
And to see improvement,
Injects energy to push me to the next task at hand.
His voice finds two word sequences,
As Prompt hands guide his facial muscles,
Ironically his first phrase,
Which I jot down in my note book with equal pride and sorrow,
For us there is only more,
Always so much more.
His drive for independence is compounding,
His energy ripe,
But with knowing where he needs to go to from here,
I become brusque with intervention,
Desperate to get him to do it the right way,
In order to satisfy my own sense of achievement,
As well as change his patterns.
The brutal truth of my own obsession,
To reach an unattainable perfection.
There is no perfection.
Our canvas was ripped down the middle at his birth,
And I am still coming to terms with manifesting a painting,
On what is left to work with.
Thankfully as always with Feldenkrais,
I find direction,
For I’m not encouraged to depict a finished product,
Because there isn’t one.
It’s simply an orchestra,
In order for each instrument to anticipate its timing,
Without missing a beat –
To perform the chosen piece of music.
And requiring less effort,
The more intuitive it becomes.
While always easier said than done –
Practical applications shown to me,
Worked on Isaac,
Allow our rehearsal to go on.
Help him find his diagonals,
To find his diagonals is how Isaac will have the ability to sit on his bottom.
So we side sit for reading,
We continue to move in and out of side sitting through crawling,
His practitioner shows him more clearly how one side can shorten through a bent knee while the other lengthens to reach out an arm.
If sitting on his bottom is successfully mastered -rotation becomes a possibility -turning and reaching for things -as opposed to the side bending currently only available to Isaac in W sitting.
Help him find the ability to push through his feet,
By pushing a flat foot against the wall or any surface,
Straddling across a bolster narrow enough to have his feet planted – allowing him time to roll his barefoot across the floor – seeing how the inside, outside and mid foot explore contact.
While in sitting or squatting come forward at the hips and holding onto a bar in front to help him find his centre of gravity and stability,
Which in turn also helps plant his feet on the ground.
Rolling the sole of the feet over a rolling-pin – forwards and back for a pushing and pulling action to be explored.
Continue to ride his trike, or a bouncy ball with handle, or rocking horse – all which require pushing through the feet to propel backwards or pulling the feet across the ground to go forwards.
Show him how he can sit back onto his knee (from all fours) by anchoring at the hips rather than throwing the head and shoulder back to pull up with extension.
Which will encourage him to use his major muscles in his hip to change direction.
And break the spasm invoked with repeatedly relying solely on extensor muscles.
To gain height when on his knees,
Break the habit of pushing off the tops of feet,
By showing him it can be achieved more effectively from the hips,
By moving the pelvis forward and back,
Not locking it in place,
And squeezing up to elevation.
Continue throwing practice,
But instead of being upright we try it in lying down,
Having him bringing his arms above his head,
Which isn’t a familiar action,
And shows him an alternative throwing action,
From the underarm he naturally mastered.
Requiring a different use of muscles,
And body organisation,
For a much loved past time.
And by the time Christmas carols begin to sing,
I see that his orchestra,
While seemingly practicing each instrument in isolation,
Has in fact been doing the very opposite,
With each having a flow-on effect from the other,
And we see for the first time Isaac pulling his left foot out from under his W sitting,
To be very contently resting with a flat foot to the ground in half kneeling,
Weight forward in beautiful harmony and balance –
And to move out of it flipped the right leg through to momentarily be bottom sitting,
Before rolling out onto hands and knees.
With a sense of elegance, grace and purpose.
With New Years Eve approaching,
Side sitting over to the left becomes second-nature,
As his mobility around his base is made ever apparent,
A weight shifting that allows a directional change seem effortless –
Looking back behind him with pride in this eyes.
A comfortable perch I wouldn’t have dreamed of donning as a new years resolution,
But is delivered,
Right on time.
Just keep reaching.