why not me

by thankfeldenkrais

I was still spending so much time grieving,
Feeling such loss,
Punished even,
For having been stripped of so much joy,
Being faced with such adversity.
And the cold hard truth that nothing would be easy again.

Why me?
Chilliest question of all.
Haunting me.
Why did this have to happen to me?
I didn’t buy into you only got dished what you could handle,
I was of no comfort,
Bordering on offensive.
As if I was more capable than another – I’m not can’t you see I wanted to cry.
We deal with what we get given, perhaps.
But I learn on the job,
Treading water daily,
Feeling near drowning.
Is this handling?
I certainly feel there is more on my plate that my fair fill.

But then it occurred to me,
Why not me?
Cerebral Palsy didn’t discriminate,
No family or person was exempt by race, gender, wealth or religion.
So I suddenly open my eyes and,
I see,
No rhyme or reason for me over another,
No answers why I should be excused from such a life challenge,
Or tragedy.
I was yelling out in protest to a rally without cause,
And certainly no justice to be reckoned.

It is just life.

Today I’ll suck it up,
And get on with it.

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Tomorrow,
Who knows.

 

 

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