Optimism can be friend or foe,
I’m in a whirlwind.
I can’t find my balance,
And Isaac is a roller-coaster,
I can’t seem to slow down.
Living in the dark is completely impractical,
Everywhere I go I can’t shut out the light,
Blackness seemingly unattainable.
And so he fights me,
As if taking out on me,
The worries of the world resting on his tiny shoulders.
And then by luck,
We greet the beginning of our journey,
Our road to finding Feldenkrais.
The word alone too unfamiliar to my dialect.
My pronunciation is child-like,
My attitude open, yet sheltered.
It was a meet and greet of sorts,
After the connection was lost by time,
Still the comfort of distant familiarity a catalyst for stilling my nerves,
Of yet another appointment where question and answer strip my babe of his simple existence.
The raw truth brought to the surface,
And inevitably tears fall,
For another something I didn’t want to be reduced to,
Another stake in the life I still couldn’t bare to be confronting.
To it being the beginning of the most important awakening in my life,
And the opening of opportunity,
I didn’t dare consider wouldn’t just come naturally.
Sixteen weeks small,
This boy is alert and determined,
Impressions that encourage,
Words that fill my tank,
To get me through another day.
And a direct reminder those beautiful big brown eyes staring back at me,
The ability to learn.
My love he needed,
His teacher I would become.