Finally I find myself snuggled next to a baby car seat no longer hollow,
But cradling his realness, his tangible being, his warmth, his smell, his weight.
A baby bird in his nest,
Holding him safe,
And me right by his side.
It occurs to me as we wind our way the short distance home,
As the filtered light dapples his cheeks,
That this is the first time he’s felt real sunshine.
No artificial brightness, so strong his eyes wrapped away in protection,
But true and pure rays of day.
How good this must feel on his new skin.
I’m almost certain I see an instantaneous glow,
Such a simple, magical thing,
And he’d been deprived of it,
Greying by fluorescent,
I visibly cringe.
And now here it is,
Sparkling off his lick of hair,
Wrapping its arms around him,
Warming him in a nurturing embrace,
That whispered welcome baby, welcome to the world,
I will help protect you.
I just stare,
Gently stroke his tiny little hand,
Mesmerised by his angelic composition.
I’m in a beautiful calm place,
It feels like happiness.
I blink the thought away in a flash,
Dismissing it as quickly as it emerged,
Just in case,
I jinx myself.
Take me back to the sunshine,
He really is so beautiful.